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Amber and Fly

by Kariina Gretere

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1.
A Moment’s Falling when the half-light fades and you’re not bothered to strike another match like counterforce this thing this phenomenon a moment’s falling or rise impossible to know 'tween sleep and drifting It holds you falling a dancer with lilies a bird accepting its fate how poised she looks while cradling his head you've sung with charlatans knew no better than deceit but this took one glimpse to know this comes of love eyes wide open hear your cynic’s heart weep a speck of light that makes you yearn to outlive shadows a glimmer of hope to redeem your soul no more need to know what’s beyond this day and hour you said I’ll always be, in one form or another I’ll be soft grass under your feet a snowflake melting on your breath perhaps, I will be the wind kissing your face I’ll be everything you know
2.
Half Way 03:40
3.
Bliss 03:17
Bliss when the air is heavy with blossoming leaves and slow passing trains vibrate through me I think of the mountain you climbed for me to have a view I think of your soft hand melting through the icy flowers on the glass for me to have a view when the snow folds around me with its blinding white and I feel there really is no need to know the way eyes closed, I trust your lullaby to pull me up from the deep eyes closed, here I stand unshaken by the falling world and closing walls 'cause you made it safe to be I'm of my own ilk when the wind blows, I stay when the world is still, I move in and out, through all the frostbite and the bliss of being healed healed healed you broke the circle, you lived in the end you knew through love you’ve redeemed yourself and it didn’t matter how you fell and why complete as a rainbow you’re now safe in the sky
4.
Wolf 03:13
Wolf first I heard you, then I saw your sweet face fill my view perfect, thoughtful and so light there was nothing I wouldn’t fight there's a wolf inside my chest to keep you safe, keep you warm push you out of harm’s way knew this instinct, knew it well knew it’s there to stay place you’re going has no room for doubt love can fool us, make us proud need to learn to say ‘oh, just let go' when you’re swallowed by the crowd cannot always be round you now when it hurts, when all goes wrong with a bleeding heart, I watch you fall and hope this will only make you strong
5.
Must Keep The Cold In day falls unshy to glean your your peace hard-earned by cheating grief buried deep under your sleep your eyes so pale lips sealed with frost broken within you’re yearning to feel if you’re still alive and so you gamble with a frozen lake you wish not be found this land so perfectly barren it now feels home and then she came in snow and blood half-child half-ghost and made you cross the void red coat, green mittens a snowflake on her brow that shimmering hair how it lights your darkness you want to laugh and howl she brought you kill she fed you berries she smelled of moth and twigs what a cruel trick of mind you knew and yet you held your breath must keep the cold in must keep the cold in
6.
Letters Across The Room there you are, my lovely heroine standing next to your groom it was you who sent those letters flying across the room centuries kept turning like pages in a book withering flowers in bloom as the ancient canvas opened its arms to let you out just this once tell me tell me, let me in on this tell me what's worse be broken, unequal, inferior to men or simply vanish away boldly you told them that easel was your husband, your dowry you studied the muscle and bone sickened with all this virility canny in craft you saw his masculinity become his fall now shoulder by shoulder with your sisters in crime you stand you know your work has just begun cover those ears, close those eyes let sentiment and pity yield to the crush the Witch is ready to burn over and over again my flesh, my blood, my only sister in crime of not walking away, of painting your life in a thousand shades of solitude Artemisia...
7.
Handful of Rye from the falling stone see the ripples flow rippling through my calm unspoilt demeanour there I was thinking you were just a person selling fruit or flowers somewhere around the corner someone I didn’t care about someone I didn’t care about alas, there you stand strangely awkward as baffled as me 'bout this strange encounter never thought you too had to go on living never thought you too longed to be wanted somewhere somehow I must draw a line but I've crossed them all already somehow somewhere I must build a wall oh, but they crumble when the heart skips a beat release me, just let me go don’t hold me down time is not for turning go fly be a bird, free at last dance your way up up I’ll dream of a tiny blackbird gazing at itself from the deepest blue go fly be a bird for ever and ever sing your way out I’ll dream of a curious child handful of rye
8.
Zhenya 03:40
Zhenya remember my friend, my beautiful friend remember the lightness of life in flight remember how well the silences spoke remember our wishing under cold starlight remember my friend, my beautiful friend your soul was a meadow where I ran barefoot our dreams, our ideals, our idiosyncrasies remember the thrill from our spiritual loot …. I miss you so guess we drifted, guess we had to grow with half-dreamed lives in summer's heat we had nothing yet we felt so complete wake up tomorrow I want to shake you up I want to hold you close with all the shifting apartness you still burn so bright stay a little longer like a poem burnt under my skin each word a rare blossom each line a storm within … I miss you so guess we drifted, guess we had to grow with half-dreamed lives in summer's heat we had nothing yet we felt so complete … how could we know we’d write this chapter then set pages aglow when nights are stunned from skies unlit I’m still saved by the love you transmit
9.
Outsider 03:33
Outsider and so I think of you in contexts of all sorts of time and place of gender and race swift changing currents that brought you up and swept you down under and so I think of you in sounds of human heart of howling loneliness and crushing silence of despair those soft vibrations of joy you never thought you had in you untied you fall away the tide was right but was it you? you turned and walked into the sun and I know there was a lot of sadness but I also know that there was joy you wrote a note, not a hint of despair you'll start afresh elsewhere you left a cupboard full of joy and sadness and disappeared into thin air but you meant to be found oh, you meant to be found you meant to be found
10.
Ordinary Magic day was bright and sun was sunny there was nothing extraordinary on that day like any other some overslept, some didn't bother and then you stepped in and the circus stopped revolving so much became clear, so much ceased to matter didn’t dare to think, to move to wonder or rationalise how you made things happen stop or vanish, with your eyes I thought it’s complex this otherworldly maze but you just smiled and it all fell into place and then you stepped in and the circus stopped revolving so much became clear so much ceased to matter I felt like I was falling falling, falling into you intoxicated by the sweetness with nothing to hold on to our overlapping timelines makes us spin and crash and I felt like I was falling falling, falling into you without a sense of time or place all fades but your sweet face this ordinary magic makes us spin and crash falling in to you day was bright and sun was sunny there was nothing extraordinary on that day like any other some overslept, some didn't bother and then you stepped in and the circus stopped revolving so much became clear, so much ceased to matter
11.
Way On 03:27
Way On the door is open and time is now to start all over if only we knew how so no more blame or pointing fingers I know it hurts but let’s not linger wake up at night crushed by your thoughts those battles, won or lost you wish you never fought so many truths convincingly true you ask which one, if any, is for you just stay real close don’t you look behind there’s nothing there no happiness to find the road’s wide open think what lies ahead there’s that lifting feeling from wings you’ve never really spread all those moments we spend overcome by doubt, anxious that we’ll never see the other end take my hand, this leap will be hard what is there to lose, to fear what is it that we guard

about

'Amber and the Fly’ offers a balance of introspection and retrospection, its dramatically expressive, heartfelt, untrammelled songwriting lit by the subtle tints of magic realism. Idiosyncratic, hauntingly raw, evocative vocal performances and bone-deep musicality twine the threads of individuality, existentialism and the sublime into a unique and vivid tapestry with Time, Space, Gender, Love, Loss and Living.

credits

released August 1, 2015

Written, performed and produced by Kariina Gretere.
Mastered by Patrick Bird at PSB Music (London).

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Kariina Gretere Aarhus, Denmark

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